anger

So I'm feeling better. And you may be asking "well why is her title 'Angry'?" and I suppose its a little complicated. My muscles still hurt, my joints hurt, I'm still tired, but I think my attitude has changed and I am feeling slightly less stressed. Yes, I have a HUGE test in Anatomy that could make for break my nursing career (you think one test shouldn't be so epic but it really is). But I'm not letting myself get stressed because I am finally letting go of a lot of things. I am letting go of my stress. It doesn't help me. And yes, I have a lot to do this week, but it's Tuesday and I've all ready knocked of 3 of the 6 big things I have to accomplish, half-way there with the help of the Lord's unfailing love. I love that, unfailing love. But this whole attitude change came about when I got angry at my "best friend" instead of the usual feeling of being hurt by him. I let myself get hurt, but not anymore. And I used to let myself get hurt because I didn't want to be angry, I didn't want to lose him. News flash Sarah, I'm not losing anything. I am angry because of all that I gave him, all the effort, all the strength, all the love. I fought for that friendship, against myself, against the attitudes of those I love so dearly. And then I have to twist his arm to get to act as though he cares. As far as he is concerned, according the lovely words of Jo Dee Messina "my give a damn's busted." So my new outlook. Fight only for things worth fighting for, myself, my relationships that are productive, and most importantly, my relationship with Christ. Among all else, the latter is the only thing worth fighting for. And as much as I fear losing the former, there will come a day when I don't have that.
ps. My sister Michaela is AMAZING! I don't think I have ever give her enough credit, but that girl, she's got some things figured out, and I am so blessed to have such an incredible big sister who can offer such wisdom, guidance and insight.